Squelching
by Veinne
Summary: What are those two blasted nuisances up to this time? Rated T just in case.


**Hey there, guys! Just another one of them random one-shots. None of this (well, except the idea, I guess) belongs to me (though I wish it did). Reviews are highly appreciated and celebrated with cookies.**

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Mrs Hudson was halfway through her tea, eating delicately through some crumpets with her fellow old-lady friends and naturally gossiping, when someone shouted from upstairs.

Sherlock and John had a horrible habit of shouting for her when they needed something, and though Mrs Hudson of course, discouraged it, she couldn't help but be worried. I mean, of course, answering to all the yelling would be a form of encouragement in continuing on with a bad habit, but it could be an _emergency_!

Sighing, she excused herself, and went up the stairs slowly, but if her boys needed anything, it certainly didn't seem so, as there was a large amount of shuffling to be heard in Sherlock's room on her way up.

Mrs Hudson started to get very suspicious. What on earth could those two be up to now? If she finds any body parts in that blasted room again...

Knocking on the door before entering (Mrs Hudson still had her manners intact, after all, even if she was rather testy that afternoon), she opened the door and peeked her head in.

"I heard shouting," she said, trying to adjust her voice to a kindly pitch. "Do you boys need help?" she enquired, staring at a very awkward scene of Sherlock and John sitting on the floor in a pool of _some_ kind of liquid.

"Oh, no, Mrs Hudson," John said, smiling rather forcedly, when Sherlock did not deign to answer. "That was just… Sherlock. He… err… saw a rat."

"Sherlock shouted at a rat?" Mrs Hudson said, raising her eyebrows. When the two of them only casted their eyes down, she shook her head and pointed at the puddle. "What is that, then, dear?"

"Oh, err," John said, trying to cover the puddle from her sight by sitting on more of it. "Sherlock… peed from fright. Because of the rat," he added. Sherlock glared at him and stepped on his foot painfully. John tried to muffle his "Ow!", but to not much avail.

Mrs Hudson stared at them suspiciously. There was definitely something wrong. "And you just decided to sit in his… urination with him?"

"Well…" John stalled, glancing from Sherlock to the puddle and back. "I… was giving him therapy! For the shock!" Sherlock stepped on his foot again, and John winced.

Mrs Hudson knew that she couldn't wheedle the information from them no matter what now. "Well, alright then," she said, feigning looking resigned. John let out a breath of relief. Yes, Mrs Hudson thought to herself. Something was definitely wrong.

She backed out from the room, shut the door, and for good measure, took several steps down the stairs, making sure to make her shoes click loudly on the staircase. After six steps, she stopped, and very quietly creeped back up to the landing.

Now, Mrs Hudson was _definitely_ not one to peep into other people's business, but _someone_ had to be there to stop those two maniacs from blowing themselves up.

She put her eye to the keyhole and gasped inwardly and what was going on. What on earth was those two _doing_?!

There was a box of something that looked suspiciously alike to eyes (yes, eyes, maybe even human ones) and those two were puncturing them with toothpicks! Oh, what horror! Mrs Hudson almost fainted at the sight.

That's what that awful squelching noise was! Mrs Hudson had spent half an hour inspecting all the house's pipes for leaks!

Unable to stand such torture to innocent body parts that definitely were not for such deeds, she threw open the door (making both of them jump a little, to her hidden satisfaction) and shouted "What are you two doing to those poor… _things_?"

There was a moment of oddly comical identical shocked looks for about a minute, when that dreaded, heavily repeated sentence came from Sherlock.

"It's an experiment!"

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**It was just a crack idea I had one day. Flames will be snorted at and extinguished. P:**

**Oh, and someone please help me with the rating. I have no idea what squelching eyes with toothpicks call for. Just going to put the rating at T just in case.**


End file.
